Bobbyisms or Boberbs 1 of 6

Over the last two years, I’ve heard my mentor/boss say some things that are both catchy and helpful. While I don’t think these things are universally true all the time (I don’t think Bobby thinks that either), there is a lot of wisdom in them. I think of them as modern day proverbs... wise sayings that describe the way things normally work (not without exception) but true the majority of the time.

#1 What we celebrate, we invite. Bobby thinks this came from a book by Ravi Zacharias. The context was a HS graduation ceremony where a pregnant girl was awarded a grand applause. The point being that the glorification of a thing makes it attractive and therefore not just permissible but encouraged. While it does take a lot of courage and determination to continue in school and move forward in spite of poor decisions, should we give more applause for a student doing something that she should have done anyway? What about all the other students who made great decisions? Should they not have received at least as much celebration for making good decisions the whole time? I'm not saying we should condemn her or ostracize her or something stupid like that. Everyone needs love, support, and compassion, whether we make good decisions or poor ones. Nevertheless, we should be sure that we’re celebrating what is truly great!

Wise Decisions

UnChristian 6 -Wise Choices from cody pope on Vimeo.

When to cut 'em off

How do you know when to quit pursuing a professional ministry relationship that is not moving forward? What do you do when you have a volunteer or (in my case) a student in ministry who is not where they need to be? How do I know when to keep pursuing them and when to move on?

For me, it comes down to 3 things. These things are in escalating order of importance. In other words, number three is more important than number one.
1) Your bandwidth
The amount of available time and energy that you have to invest in this person definitely comes into play. If you're out of energy, this really limits the amount of time you have to invest in unmotivated people. However, if you have spare time on your hands, then go for it, even if they're tough.
2) The person's value to you personally or the organization
For the organization, value is equal to the amount of leadership potential. To quantify leadership potential, read John Maxwell. Ask yourself, "is this a person that people naturally look to for decisions." If so, more effort is warranted than if the answer is negative. I use the calibrated gut to put people into a 1-5 (5 being great potential) grid of possible influence on others.
3) The teachability of the person
This is the most important issue. I want to spend the majority of my time with people who are teachable. If a person has a leadership potential of a 5 but 0 teachability, I pass them by. However, if there is any teachable attitude present, they would be well worth the effort. I would give a 5 LP 1 Teachable much more effort than a 3 with the same teachability. However, I would invest in a 3LP who was teachable over a 5LP any day!

No matter who they are, all people matter. Therefore, attitude counts. What you say is as important as how you say it. Give them the love sandwich (meaty truth sandwiched in between two pieces of affirmation). Give them every piece of information and available opportunity to become the type of person they need to be and show themselves teachable. Of course this assumes that we are being teachable ourselves. As such, we should remember that with every relationship there is something to be learned.

Anyone can Criticize; Leaders make Solutions

It really doesn't take that much intellect or effort to notice that things are messed up. It's almost like saying that the sky is blue. Of course, things are not as good as they could be, whether we're talking about the world at large, our organizations, our families, or ourselves. I can think of at least a dozen things wrong with each. Almost all of us could.

A better way is needed. I tell our leaders that when it comes to evaluations, we need to hold our tongues until we are ready to propose and be a part of a solution. I will not hear a complaint without a proposed plan for solving the problem. This does two things. First, it keeps the gossip and rumor mill shut down. If everyone knows that complaints without solutions fall on deaf ears then pretty soon, they quit griping or leave. Second, it fosters forward movement. Criticism without remedies breeds negativity and regress. On the other hand, people who are accustomed to thinking in terms of solutions are difference makers, have ownership in the organization and have a positive attitude. These are all things are highly preferable to the alternative!

Relational Currency

As I was reading about how the crowds followed Jesus in Mark 1, I wondered what we as his followers have to offer people so that they want to follow us. The context of the passage seems to imply that the draw was two-fold. First, they were curious because of the unique nature of his teaching. Jesus' approach to the religious crowd was very unlike his contemporaries. He did not quote other teachers or quibble about secondary issues. Instead, he focused on God's overarching meta narrative of redemption and freedom from seemingly inescapable circumstances of fear and oppression by religion and demons. Second, he displayed the power behind his teaching by actually healing the demonized and lepers. This was an impossible task apart from the supernatural ability of God.

On to us...
What do we have, in Jesus, that the religious and non-religious, don't? I make the following suggestions. First, in Jesus, we have a holy dissatisfaction with the business as usual, get by, maintainence mentality. Religion is dead (another blog for another day) and relationships are in. Empty tradition is out, adventure is where it's at. Lifeless church going is boring, exciting experiences are attractive. People, particularly young adults and teens, are starving to death for relationships, adventure and excitement. We, as Jesus followers, have access to all these things. We have reconciliation with God and each other (relationships). There is a great mission that is risky and downright insane that we're called to (adventure). Our leader beckons us to love him with all our mind, body, soul, heart, etc. (excitement). The question then becomes, why do so many churches, have to create gimicks, hype, or continue to live in the past, thinking that will be effective in impacting the world?
Of course, I've got some ideas about how to do this, and I'm trying them out. But the point for all of us is to ask, "How does a life lived like Jesus look in my situation?" In faith, we must evaluate our own situations (individually and corporately) then begin to make the necessary changes to move forward. As we build relational currency with people through the avenues created by the gospel, lives will be changed.

A True Companion

Today is my wife's birthday so, I thought I'd write down a few of the things about her that make her special. First, Shayla is undeniably honest about her feelings. Even though this sometimes gets her in trouble, I think it to be a valuable trait. I never have to wonder what she's feeling. For a guy who's pretty thick, that's helpful. She is always authentic and never puts on masks and is absolutely never fake.
Second, Shayla is very intelligent. She has great critical thinking skills which enable her to cut through the crap when it comes to arguments and situations. Many of you know that she was the valedictorian of her HS class and finished college in less than 3.5 years before the times of dual credit in HS. This was just the beginning of her display of intelligence... you should hear our disagreements. I have spent years and thousands of dollars equipping myself with degrees in things like upper level philosophy classes only to be outdone by her superior intellect.
Third, Shayla is a particularly good judge of character. In 12 years of marriage and 5 years of dating, I have never known her to be wrong about a person's true self. As someone who's job involves dealing directly with people on a daily basis, she has been a help to me more than a few times. I have also suffered the result of thinking I was better at this than she is.
Fourth, Shayla is very compassionate and caring. Because of her ability to really see people, she has a very keen awareness of their thought processes. She regularly puts herself in other people's shoes and even when they're wrong, she has the ability to lovingly help them take responsibility. She is an excellent counselor.
Fifth, Shayla loves sacrificially. She has given up more for me and our kids than any of us will ever really appreciate. Every day Shayla puts her own desires and dreams on hold so that she can help me and our kids be the people we need to be. She relentlessly gives her physical and emotional self to us. She has persevered through poverty, depression, and my horrible gas.
Sixth, Shayla loves truth, justice and mercy. She appreciates frank conversation and doing what is right, especially towards others. She despises phony platitudes, superficiality and shallow relationships. Her preference is for authenticity, honesty, and compassion.
Lastly, Shayla continues to grow. She is always looking for ways to improve herself. She has an inspiring tenacity and a holy dissatisfaction with the status quo, which I love! Shayla values progress and embodies that herself.
In the words of Jack Nicholson, Shayla makes "me want to be a better man." And for that, I am truly grateful to God. Shayla is an example to others how to love Jesus by embracing a sacrificial lifestyle of self-denial so you can truly live. That is what makes her an unmistakeably beautiful person. Please join me in wishing her a Happy Birthday!

UnChristian -Fear vs Big Faith

UnChristian -Consumerism vs Mission from cody pope on Vimeo.

Consumerism & Mission

I am a consumer. You are a consumer. We are consumers. We consume food, products and experiences. We like our Chick Fil-A sandwiches, hair products and going bowling. We buy things we need and things we don’t need. Sometimes we buy things that are not the best product for the money, but are the best marketed. Clothing is a good example of this. Brand marketing convinces us that we must have a certain brand name over something else that might be of a better or equal quality for less. Food, clothing, experiences…these are all things that are consumed.

This is not necessarily a bad thing. However, if we’re not careful, we’ll buy into the lie that if we just buy this one more thing, we’ll be happy. The world says that if we just consume this one thing, our troubles will go away. “If I just get that Xbox360, or go to this school trip, or buy a hybrid car…” Of course, that is a problem b/c as Christians we believe that true happiness and fulfillment is found in Jesus and Him alone. Nevertheless, the problem runs much deeper than that. Consumerism, the idea that, I the customer am in charge and can, indeed, should, choose what I want and don’t want, has invaded our idea of church and Christianity as a whole.

What I mean by this is that the idea that church is a religious good and/or service has become prevalent today. Instead of seeing church as the body of Christ, the people of faith, the lovers of Jesus, many see the church as a sort of club, organization or social network. As such, these same people think the church, like other clubs, organizations and social networks, gives them certain rights and privileges. For example, if you join a gym or health club, you get a nametag w/ a card that lets you, but not non members in. You get to use the equipment, have an experience, and they clean up after you. If you don’t like their equipment or training staff, you can either complain about it to the management and try to change things or you can find another health club, since there are tons of them. If you don’t like Fitness 19, there’s Gold’s Gym, or Snap Fitness, or 24 Hour Fitness. If one doesn’t suit you, you can easily go to another. The same is true w/ food (how many burger joints are there?), vehicles car, truck SUV or crossover?(Ford, Chevy, Dodge, Toyota, Mazda, Hyundai, Honda, BMW, Land Rove, Hummer, Mitsubishi, Audi), apparel…almost anything. If you don’t like one, you can just pick another that better suits you. Make sense?

When we apply this notion, that I am the consumer, to the church, something goes terribly wrong. When we see ourselves as the customer and the church as the provider, like a health club, or restaurant, this is not good. There are some who, while unaware, have made this terrible mistake of becoming Consumeristic Christians. They believe in Jesus but have a view of church that is really all about them. You know if you’re one of these people if any of the following is true of you:

• You are looking for a certain style of praise and worship music.
• You judge what happens “up front” by the quality of the presentation instead of the content.

-“That was good.” Or “I really liked that.” Or “I didn’t like that and here’s why…”

• You determine whether or not you’re going to attend based on how you feel, personally or about the experience at large.
• You think it’s ok to complain to “management” if your preferences are not being met
• You are a church shopper who bounces from one church to another b/c of your preferences (you like the music @ this place, but the teaching @ this place or the people @ this place, etc.)

I’m just going to say it now…Consumerism, and Consumeristic Christianity has NO Biblical basis and is not God’s will for the church, today or ever. Instead of trying to defend that idea, I’m going to try and show what God really intends for the Church.

Instead of being self centered and consuming, God wants us to give:

Matthew 10:8b “Freely you have received, freely give.” -NIV

2Cor 9:7b “God loves a cheerful giver.” -NIV

Luke 6:37 “Give your life away.” The Message

Instead of being selfish, God wants us to love:

Luke 10:27 “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind' ; and, 'Love your neighbor as yourself.”

Rom 12:10 “Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves.”

Instead of expecting others to serve us, we should serve others:

Gal 5:13c “…serve one another in love.”

Instead of complaining b/c we didn’t get what we wanted from others, we should encourage:

1Thess 5:11 “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up...”

Instead of sitting back wanting to be comfortable, entertained and engaged, we should be challenging and pushing one another forward:

Heb 10:24 And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds.

Instead of being Consumeristic and bouncing from one church to another:

Rom 12:10 “Be devoted to one another…” Barnet says, “Pick a family and stick w/ them.”

Instead of being about us, we are to be about God’s mission for the world:

Matt 28:19 “Therefore go and make disciples of all nations”

Give, Love, Serve, Encourage, Spur, Make Disciples…

This is what it means to be a Christian, Jesus lover and Jesus follower. Are you a consumer or a Christian? We believe that true life is found in Jesus and Jesus alone. Through his death, burial and resurrection, we believe that He is the King of everything and we will be happy subjects as we submit to his rule and are on his mission to love and redeem humanity and the world.

"Just buy 'em a beer."

A friend of mine, a "youth" pastor at another church, recently told me about a conversation he had with his boss. The context of the conversation was about how to win the allegiance of the men in leadership of the church. The advice given to him was, "just buy 'em a beer, and they'll love you" or something like that.

On one hand, that's really funny. On the other, its very smart. Notwithstanding the various positions concerning consumption of alcohol (I recommend Driscoll), in our "subural" (combo suburban/rural -I made that up) Texas culture, buying someone a beer is a kind gesture. It's different from just buying someone lunch, it's more manly and intimate. It means you're part of the team, in the club, one of the guys. So, it only makes sense, to "buy 'em a beer" if one wants to get "in" with the dudes who make decisions and influence people.

To put some theological and philosophical reasoning behind this action we only need to look as far as Jesus. He was accused of being a "a drunkard and a glutton, a friend of tax collectors and sinners." There are two charges leveled against him. The second of the two was that he befriended the outcasts and misfits of his society. We know that this charge was indeed true. He was a friend of prostitutes, lepers, Samaritans, sell outs and the like. But to move toward the first charge of excess, both in drink and food, is a bit more controversial. I don't believe that Jesus drank too much or ate too much, but he apparently drank and ate enough for the charge to stick. Whatever we say about his evangelistic and discipleship methodology, it seems that we must say that drinking and eating were staples. To understand the why behind Jesus' actions a little more understanding is needed.

Eating a meal with someone in the first century was a fairly important deal. To eat with someone signified extension of friendship and loyalty. The sharing of a meal was an indication of love and commitment... kind of like buying someone a beer in our culture. Both are acts of hospitality and generosity that assume a certain level of relational status. Jesus aligned himself, through the cultural forms of his day, with those who needed to hear the good news, both the disciples and the marginalized (another blog on another day on that last part).

Since I deal with students, who are typically underage, I don't "buy 'em a beer." I usually buy them a drink @ Sonic or Starbucks. It's amazing how God uses the purchase of a $3 beverage to open opportunities for the gospel of Jesus to be planted and take root.

So, be like Jesus and "go buy 'em a" fill in the blank with the legal beverage of choice!

Short list of things I was not taught in college

First off, I am an advocate of education. I've spent tens of thousands of dollars and countless hours on it. It is valuable for a lot of things. However, while I spent time pursuing worthy endeavors, I also spent an inordinate amount of time also studying crap that had very little value to my actual career. Rather than point out those things, I think I'll write the things that I wish they would have taught me.

1) Success in ministry is not solely determined by one's godliness. I was taught that if I really trusted Jesus, then God would bless my ministry and I would have a big church.
2) Success in ministry is not solely measured by the size of one's congregation. While size does matter, it's not the only thing. Perhaps some people have greater capacities for ministry, relationships and leadership than others. If that is the case, then maybe success means exceeding our capacities through trusting God, but shouldn't necessarily be compared to others, as if ministry were some sort of one up or tinkling contest.
3) Gathering a crowd really isn't all that hard. Just do something crazy, but legal and within the boundaries set forth by the New Testament, and people will show up just to see the show. For now, I'll not comment on whether or not that (bait and switch events) is a good thing. Examples: 400 kids show up for a free all you can eat pizza thing, 550 kids show up for a $5, 8 hour lock in that has video games, TV smash, inflatables, all you can eat food including pizza, and mechanical bull. My friend, Sean Chandler, recently put on one of these events "Christmas Chaos"@ HCBC in Hutto, TX.
4) Following Jesus is hard but church should be easy. It seems that we may have it completely backwards with our total buy in of Willow, Saddleback, NorthPointe, seeker driven models. Alan Hirsch has written on this quite a bit. See him for more.

to be continued...